THE FIRST DRESS CODE

                     

The First Dress Code

Eve ate half of the apples on the Tree of Life and I gobbled down the other half.  Eve was feeling fine when she rushed out of The Garden a little while ago, but I'm stuck here at home under the tree because I've got a terrible belly ache.

The thing is, God says that from now on Eve and I can't go walking around The Garden in the buff.  So Eve said she was going to get herself a wardrobe. Skirts, blouses, stockings, fancy shoes, all that nonsense.

Well I don't know where in Hell she thinks she can get those things.  On the other hand, maybe Hell is exactly where.

And God says I've got to do the same.  He commanded me to get a fancy gentleman's suit, and to put on a tightly binding shirt, and to choke off my air supply by knotting a silly decorated rag around my neck.

So it looks like my happy, carefree days in Paradise are coming to an end.

Here comes Eve now, and she's pushing a wheelbarrow that's piled high with dresses and skirts, and blouses, and even some trousers and shirts for me.

"Where did you get all this stuff, Eve?" I demand angrily.

Eve smiles smugly.  "Where else?  From Lucifer."

"From Lucifer!" I scream.  "From Lucifer!  You know God's not going to like this at all, don't you?"

"Well what else could I do?" she whines.  "God says we have to wear clothes.  So where else can I get clothes?  There's only you, and me, and Lucifer.  And besides, God has already damned us because we ate those apples."

"Yeah, right.  And who cajoled us into eating the apples? It was your pal Lucifer."

Eve giggles.

And now I notice a strange mark on her neck.  "Hey, what's that blue squiggly thing?" I ask.  "It looks like the Serpent."

"It is The Serpent."  She smiles, pleased that I have noticed.  "Lucifer put it there.  It's a tattoo.  And I'm the first woman on the planet ever to have one."

 "Well of course you are.  You're the only woman on the planet."

"For now I am, my dear," Eve replies, smiling coyly and patting her belly.  "But maybe I won't be for much longer."

Oh My God!!!